Are you Training the Dog in Front of You?
When we bring a dog into our lives—whether a brand-new puppy, a rescue, or a carefully selected working partner—we usually have a vision of who they’ll become.
We imagine a calm, obedient companion. A dog who loves our kids, walks politely on a leash, ignores distractions, and impresses strangers with their focus and charm. We imagine our dog.
But what happens when the real dog shows up?
Maybe your new dog is shy, mouthy, reactive, or full of endless energy. Maybe they aren’t anything like the dog in your head. And that dissonance—the gap between expectation and reality—can quietly derail your training.
The Myth of the Ideal Dog
Every trainer, handler, and dog owner carries an image of the “ideal dog” in their mind. It might be based on a past pet, a favorite breed, or something you saw on TV. This mental image can shape your goals, your training plan, and—without realizing it—your frustration.
You might find yourself thinking:
"She should be able to handle this by now."
"He shouldn’t be afraid of people."
"I expected him to be easier to train."
The trouble is, when you're focused on the dog in your head, you're not paying attention to the dog in front of you.
What It Means to Train the Dog in Front of You
Training the dog in front of you means setting aside expectations and working with the animal you actually have—today, in this moment. It means observing, listening, and adjusting based on real behavior, not imagined potential.
It’s about asking:
What does this dog need right now?
What does this dog find stressful, exciting, reinforcing?
Where is this dog succeeding—and where are they struggling?
And most importantly:
How can I meet this dog where they are?
Signs You’re Not Training the Dog in Front of You
You feel frustrated when your dog doesn’t meet your expectations.
You keep trying the same training plan even though it’s not working.
You compare your dog to others constantly.
You focus more on “fixing” behavior than understanding it.
You catch yourself thinking, “But my last dog never did this…”
These are common traps—and totally human. But they often lead to confusion, resistance, or stagnation in your training.
What to Do Instead
Start With Observation
Before you cue or correct, observe. What does your dog do in a new space? How do they respond to pressure, reinforcement, or distraction? Pay attention to their pace of learning.Adjust Expectations
It’s okay to have goals—but anchor them in reality. Your dog’s progress might not be linear, and that’s normal. Sometimes growth means going slow.Celebrate Small Wins
Training the dog in front of you means celebrating their progress—not what your dream dog would’ve done. A shy dog sniffing a new person is a big deal. A distracted dog offering eye contact? Huge win.Stay Flexible
If something isn’t working, change the plan. Training isn’t about proving a method—it’s about helping a learner succeed. Your dog doesn’t need you to be perfect; they need you to be present.Let Go of Comparison
Your dog isn’t your neighbor’s golden retriever, your last service dog, or the Instagram star you follow. They are their own unique self, with their own challenges and brilliance.
The Payoff
When you start training the dog in front of you, everything shifts.
You stop fighting reality. You start noticing strengths. You begin to understand your dog as an individual, not a disappointment. And your relationship grows deeper, more cooperative, and more joyful.
Yes, training might take longer. Yes, the path might look different than you expected. But when you honor the dog in front of you, you create space for them to become the best version of themselves—not your fantasy, but their truth.
And that’s where the real magic happens.
